The timing of difficult conversations is an essential skill within this activity. Whether you are a leader delivering bad news, or a new member of staff wishing to have a difficult conversation, picking the RIGHT time where the other person or people are focused is essential.
In the last few weeks I have been reflecting on the impact of timing. More specifically the timing of bad news. Having difficult conversations is a challenge for any leader, but the timing could make it easier to manage the whole situation. And it could backfire if you get it wrong.
I was prompted to write this topic following the appalling behaviour of the English National Opera board, who issued redundancy notices to the orchestra and opera chorus DURING a performance by electronic email. How the performers completed the performance, which was musically challenging, is a credit to their professionalism and respect to the audience who had paid to watch the opera. Rather like the band on the Titanic, they kept doing. I am hoping this “case study” will be included in HR training “How not to” training in future.
Now before I dissect this appalling behaviour by the ENO board, I should explain the background. The Musicians Union and Equity were trying to negotiate a package for the performers. Negotiations finished and legally redundancies had to be served by 15th February. So the board decided to do this DURING the performance on 15th February. Not before, not afterwards. The redundancy notices were accompanied by a minimal redundancy pay off and new contracts for 7 months; this is a significant salary cut.
Of course an appropriate time would be before the performance where this could be done formally – let’s remember everyone was expecting to receive them. I guess the Board, if they thought at all, believed there would be a protest; the performers would walk out or grab a microphone before the performance to alert the audience to what had happened. Allegedly this might have been a possibility; but the audience has since learnt that the remarkable performers delivered an extraordinary performance despite the drama backstage. And it has backfired for the Board. Not only has the Arts World been disgusted, the Global Opera world has been as well as business leaders. This is a case study on how NOT to deliver bad news.
To put this into perspective; the orchestra and chorus are the core performers of the opera performances. And this is an opera company. There are more people working in HR than there are sopranos in the chorus. The ENO chorus has won GLOBAL OPERA awards for their performances. The ENO orchestra is nationally recognised and has highly skilled performers. Yet these highly skilled and talented musicians were treated with utter disrespect.
I remember a dear friend of mine receiving a telephone message late on Friday, with a complaint about her performance. No one was in when she called back and over the weekend she became more and more distressed. On Monday, when she had spoken to the individual who left the phone message, it transpired there had been an error. The difficult conversation was made worse by the timing – she couldn’t have a reasonable conversation; the fact she had the weekend to worry and the impersonal delivery.
Having difficult conversations is something that leaders and managers have to do well. Whether we are delivering feedback; disciplining someone; performance management issues or even appraisals, managing these conversations – rather than avoiding them or mistiming them is a leadership skill. We need to do these effectively.
Equally in our personal lives there are occasions where we have to have difficult conversations and to deliver bad news.
I work with emerging leaders and also teams to develop skills to manage difficult conversations. Rather than avoiding the conversation, I support you to structure the conversation for a professional, positive result. You will be more confident before you start the conversation.
If you would like to discuss how we could coach you and/or your team in managing and delivering difficult conversations contact us at email at hello@superstarcommunicator.com or book a call https://link.lemonadeplan.com/widget/appointment/superstarcommunicator/15m-chat
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