Sorry: this isn’t the Superstar Communicator’s successful dating book. Rather some RED HOT TIPS on how to engage with other people. Then they’ll love you.
People love being listened to: become a great active listener. Respond to what they are saying with non-verbal movements (like nodding) or non-verbal sounds to confirm you agree with them. Have great eye contact and concentrate on them rather than looking at your mobile.
Ask people for their help or opinions: nothing is more flattering than being asked; it gives that person confidence in themselves, their ability and their expertise.
Give the person your full attention when you are speaking to them: even if you are on the telephone to them, there is nothing more distracting than the person on the other end of the phone audibly typing on their computer, making a cup of tea etc. But face to face it’s even worse.
Mirror their body language: When you watch loving couples they mirror each other’s movement; they walk in time; no doubt their heartbeats are in synch. Through mirroring the other person’s body language, you develop a connection. When you are in a conversation with someone, try copying their body language; you’ll be amazed at how easy it is to engage with the other person!
Flatter them: everyone loves being flattered and unless they are very sad or have an evil agenda (joke!) they are more likely to engage with you. I have watched people “suck up” to key people in organisations – horrified, but now I realise they were flattering key people, to their advantage. They were noticed by key people and they ensured key people fell in love with them. Try it: you’d be amazed at how you can change your presence in an organisation. But remember not to be manipulative!
Exhibition challenge: engaging with people