Being a positive DIVA

Being a positive diva is a powerful way to present yourself. However, the word Diva has been misused to mean someone who is demanding; difficult to work with and significantly a female.

This is interesting. The origins of the word Diva, are very positive; celebrating successful women, especially within the performing arts sector. In opera, the Diva – or leading lady was one of the most important people in any production. And this was at a time when very few women performed on stage and had few rights in society. It was genuine recognition of the leading and significant role she played.

Diva is the Latin word for a goddess. It has often been used to refer to a celebrated woman of outstanding talent in the world of opera, theatre, cinema, fashion and popular music as in “Leading Lady”. If referring to an actress, the meaning of diva is closely related to that of prima donna.

Wikipedia

However more recently “Diva” has been used to describe any woman that is considered difficult and demanding. A woman who ‘has an attitude’ to get what she wants. Of course we know extreme characters: men as well as women, who are demanding, self serving and; well a nightmare. And here’s the rub; this is a derogatory term directed at women. But also there is a connotation of women being demanding and difficult asking for what they need. Yet remember, Diva is a celebration of incredible women within the performing industry. To the point there is a major exhibition at the Victoria and Albert Museum celebrating Leading Ladies and female talent in the world of performance.

Our society and culture STILL condemns women who ‘demand’ things. Pop divas are legendary where their riders are shared with the media by disgruntled employees. It doesn’t happen to the same extent by men – who whether they are pop stars, sportsmen or actors, are never smeared in the same way. Don’t get me wrong, occasionally there are legendary demands by leading women AND men and I do not condone behaviour.

However, everyone who is performing – whether presenting an event, being interviewed on the media, competing in sport; performing; you get nervous. Part of managing your fear is being able to create a ‘self psychological zone’. Having what I call a “Diva Contract” means you identify and ask for what you need “in order that you perform to the best of your ability”. This could mean everything from having a tech rehearsal beforehand; requesting a particular type of microphone and avoiding eating specific food beforehand! When you reframe this as “I want to perform to the best of my ability and in order to do this I need” it is perfectly reasonable. It is okay to ask for these things in your ‘Rider’. If there is pushback such as ‘we have no time for a tech rehearsal’, repeat the “I want to perform….” statement to remind them that you need this and it is not negotiable. Obviously if you are demanding 5* accommodation and champagne, it is likely that they will refuse this but basic riders – and they might not consider them, is perfectly reasonable and you should ask them.

To celebrate our 15th Anniversary, I am running a prize draw to take someone to the Diva Exhibition at the V & A museum. We will be picking someone’s name at random in the middle of July.

Good luck!